Breaking Free of Superficial

Strength and dignity are her clothing.

Proverbs 31:25

As those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience

Colossians 3:12

In all my conscious memory, there has always been an undercurrent of people who, because of their own insecurities and brokenness, have tried to impart the idea of external appearances as the determining factor in my worth and confidence. They even go so far as to imbue the concept with some kind of moral imperative that figures heavily in my standing with GOD.  I’ve long known that something was wrong with this kind of thinking but it has taken me a long time to understand what was and is happening enough to be able to put it into words and break free of superficial.

I am so beyond the cult of superficiality. Quite frankly, as long as I have clothes in decent repair for work and for play (and I always do), I am not in the least bit interested in pursuing the latest fashion trends.  If I like something, I will wear it no matter what the fashion gurus say. I prefer comfort over high maintenance outfits. Sometimes functional is all I need or want and I don’t care what anyone else thinks.  If I’m clean, decently covered and more or less free of serious clashing, I’m good.

I don’t obsess over makeup. Sometimes I wear the full meal deal for dress up occasions. Sometimes I wear none at all or something in between for casual days. If my hair and makeup routine takes more than 5 minutes on any given day, I am going to be cranky.  I feel no need to change up my look seasonally — unless perhaps just to get my hair off my neck on a hot summer day like today.  But that’s a practical consideration and nothing to do with any sense of fashion.

When I go shopping, I know what styles look good on me and what I want. I don’t want to spend hours and hours having salespeople measure and poke and prod at me and proffer their opinions.  At nearly half a century, I can tell you from the get go, don’t even bother with a low cut or sheath style dress. A-line is what complements me so just trust me and don’t show me all the latest empire waist or mermaid style dresses.  If I’m looking for a tunic, it better be long enough to at least reach my finger tips.  Second guessing my experience with my own body is neither wanted nor appreciated.  I want in and out with the minimum of fuss so either I like it on me or I don’t and no amount of protesting the latest trend as a “must have” is going to change the fact that it looks hideous on me, I don’t like it and don’t want it. Because frankly, I am usually OK with what’s in my closet and can wear the same clothes for years, no problem. If I’m shopping, it’s probably for a little fun item or to replace a specific item that finally wore out. What I am wearing does not change who I am or how I feel about myself in the slightest.

Sometimes my weight is up, sometimes down.  Sure, I’m happy when it goes down, but I don’t think much about it even when it goes up. My self-worth is not tied up in the size of my body.  I don’t feel better or worse about myself either fat or skinny or in between because I am still me and I am too busy pursuing the things GOD has laid on my heart to obsess over a trivial issue like body type, clothes or makeup.

If someone’s opinion of me changes because of what I wear, the style of my makeup or the size of my body, that person’s opinion ceases to matter, because the only opinion that matters is GOD’s and He sees my heart, not superficialities.  I am much more concerned with clothing my heart with strength, dignity, virtue, and righteousness to please Him than in putting myself in a tizzy of stress trying to keep up appearances for the sake of people who only value me if I fit their definition of fashionable and presentable; and who passively aggressively try to guilt me into compliance if I don’t.  My worth and confidence are built on a stronger foundation than the fickle seasons of fashionability and weight fluctuations. Anyone who tries to tear me down or imply that I am incapable of making good choices on my own because I don’t knuckle under to their way of thinking will find that my Father, the King of All, is guarding the gate so good luck knocking that one down!

Tamara Christine

Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous for the LORD your GOD will be with you wherever you go.  Joshua 1:9

I am not ashamed for I know in Whom I have believed and am convinced that He is able to guard that which I have entrusted to Him until that day.  2 Timothy 1:12



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