You will keep him in perfect peace,Whose mind is stayed on You,
Because he trusts in You.
Words are my currency. It is what I am comfortable creating to bring about the things that are important to me. They are my sphere of influence and the thing I can control to try to create the kind of life I want. BUT there is a danger in hiding behind my carefully crafted words and not just allowing life and relationships to unfold unscripted, unplanned for, unanticipated. Sometimes it is just me trying to hold onto control because I am afraid of getting hurt if I don’t control the outcome. I should know better.
Never once has trying to anticipate and plan and script things into perfect control to get what I want ever actually brought about satisfying results. Actually, it is usually the opposite. I end up with a knock off, a phony, a sham. Maybe some semblance of the form of what I want but without the reality inside to back it up, without depth, sincerity or authenticity. It isn’t the same if I tell someone I would like a certain kindness and they do it perfunctorily just because I said so or with a put upon attitude in a failed attempt to “placate” me but which they perceive as an annoying nuisance so there is no heart behind it; as if they actually care enough to notice what makes me happy and do it just because they care and want to show it; or if this person is spontaneously and creatively thoughtful “just because” even if it is not something I would have thought to ask for. Because it really is the thought and the heart behind the kindness that determines whether it really is kind –or not.
Time and again I have fallen for the lie that if I can just string the right words together at just the right time, in the right way, do the right thing and anticipate every contingency and be prepared with the right script, that everything will go my way and life will be beautiful. Reality looks more like a 7-course Thanksgiving dinner dropped off a 3-story balcony. It never works out and there is a huge mess to clean up and a lot of wasted energy in the preparation without the satisfaction of enjoying the results.
God got my attention this morning and whispered in my ear: There are no words you can say, nothing you can do or anticipate or plan for to make this turn out the way you want. That’s My job. I will make it happen. You just need to relax and enjoy My gift to you and let it happen unscripted in its own time. Trust Me to give you the words when you need them, to guide you in the right action at the right time. Relinquish control, stop fighting, stop fearing rejection and hurt if you don’t have an internal teleprompter of just the right words ahead of time for every possible scenario. Let Me be the only Word you need and I will give you the ones you need at the moment you need them without cluttering up your mind, heart and emotions on hypotheticals and what-ifs and “just in case” scenarios that will never be. Trust me with the desires of your heart and let Me surprise you with more than you can dream up or ask for.
Scary–but exciting and reassuring at the same time. Lord, help me to let go and keep letting go and not slide back into the comfort zone of trying to control my circumstances and relationships with words. I want what You want for me. I want Your best. My heart is to trust You — help me rest in the assurance that You have it all under control and fill my heart and mind with Your peace to wait for Your perfect arrangement instead of trying so hard to anticipate and arrange every detail as if I can gain favor or earn love by my works and my own effort. Replace my fear with Your peace and trust that You are working on my behalf to bring about the very best for me because You are for me and intend all good toward me. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous for the LORD your God will go with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9
I am not ashamed for I know in Whom I have believed and am convinced that He is able to guard that which I have entrusted to Him until that day. 1 Timothy 1:12