And He said to her, ” Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace and be healed of your affliction.”
Whew! The enemy sure knows how to hit me with new issues — or rather old issues, long considered dead and conquered but unexpectedly resurrected for a new round. Having lost the housing battle, he has launched a full-scale assault on old emotional weaknesses that have caused much heartache in the past. I want them to stay there. He doesn’t. He has no new tricks and thinks to try this one again. Older and wiser though I am, it is harder than I would have thought to fend off the emotional traps that never end well–and I know this full well, having lived through it repeatedly in my teens and early 20s, half a lifetime ago.
My devotions this week wandered through Mark 5 and the story of the bleeding woman who touched the hem of Jesus’ cloak and was healed because of her faith. Jesus tells her that her faith has made her whole. Not all her striving and expenditure of her resources. For years, those things did not solve her problem. But when she reached for Jesus, her problem resolved in an instant. It wasn’t any kind of busyness, “doings,” cleverness, intelligence or manipulation of circumstances that brought her healing and restoration. It was faith that Jesus was the answer that no one else could come up with.
He is still my answer today. No matter what I face — internally or externally — the answer is not in myself or my own ability to arrange “the ideal” and try to force others to play along, to fit “the role” in my idyllic fantasies. Even if they awkwardly go along, it is not satisfying because form is not what I really want. I want the heart — just like GOD wants my heart, freely given. Not a staged performance or forced role play with all the right words and none of the heart.
I have never had good results from trying to make people match my idyllic fantasy of what could be “wonderful.” Trying just spoils the whole effect. Instead of looking for others or reaching for mere man to satisfy these emotional needs, I need to reach for Jesus and trust implicitly that whatever solution He provides will be enough. Total and complete, lacking in nothing in the physical or emotional. I need to let go of my fantasies of “arranging perfection,” especially when it comes to relationships and let Him give me true perfection.
Thank You for opening my eyes to see where I have been relying on myself and cheating myself of Your best by trying to “help.” Help me to let go and just take who and what You bring into my life as better than forced fantasies. Help me to want Your reality more. In Jesus’ Name. Amen
Be strong and courageous for the LORD your GOD will go with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9
I am not ashamed, for I KNOW in WHOM I have believed and am convinced that He is able to guard that which I have entrusted to Him until that day. 2 Timothy 1:12